


There and Back Again

by UnapologeticallyMeatwad



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Agatha Wellbelove's Life in California, Agatha deserved a better ending, Character Study, Coffee Shops, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Watford (Simon Snow), Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-13 04:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18933196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnapologeticallyMeatwad/pseuds/UnapologeticallyMeatwad
Summary: San Diego coffee shops are slow.  Magickal people would never go for them.“We actually don’t have brewed coffee,” the freckled barista explains.  “Just Americanos and pour overs.”Agatha smiles.  Not only does she ask for a Mexican roast pour over, she asks for a job application.





	There and Back Again

San Diego coffee shops are slow. Magickal people would never go for them.

"We actually don't have brewed coffee," the freckled barista explains. "Just Americanos and pour overs."

Agatha smiles. Not only does she ask for a Mexican roast pour over, she asks for a job application.

* * *

 

It feels good to work. Agatha was starting to get worried a few days back; her mother sends her checks every second Sunday, increasingly large numbers looped in neat cursive across each one. But Agatha keeps them underneath all of the junk mail, determined to never  _ever_  use them. At some point her mother gets desperate and mails her a brief case jam-packed with rolled up dollar bills, converted over from pounds and everything. Probably because that's what she thinks the  _Normals_  do.

Agatha snorts at the sight of so much green, thinking that this is what  _Quentin Tarantino characters_ do. Agatha's roommate hears her from the kitchen and walks over, pupils eclipsing her eyes when she sees the briefcase.

"Is your mom like Walter White or something?"

* * *

 

No one ever complains about pour over coffee in San Diego, unless they're from Los Angeles but those people complain about everything after they mute themselves out of the conference call they're plugged into through their expensive headsets.

There is actual technique to pour overs.

You wet the paper cone filter, this washes out the paper residue and makes for a much cleaner taste.

Very slowly, you pour the hot water into the cone, but only just enough to cover the grind. This is calling  _blooming._  The water saturates the grind, and releases the carbon dioxide within. This expands the grind, which is pleasant to watch, and also makes it easier for the hot water to extract the subtle flavors into your brew.

Now you wait. Thirty seconds. Minimum.

You pour in a circle, drifting around the rim of the cone. You do this delicately. You hold your breath so your movement is steady.

The rest happens organically. The coffee drips into the mug, and you clean up. That's it.

But it takes focus, and it's something a Mage would never do.

Point being, you can't just pour the hot water in and expect it to take, though that is what she noticed the baristas at Starbucks doing, so she stopped going there.

Agatha proves to be a natural. Within a few weeks, she's training new people and it's actually really nice. For once in her life, people are actually listening to her instead of taking her feelings with a grain of salt.

She doesn't really notice it until one of the new people, Franklin, forgets how to make a wet cappuccino during a rush, and he doesn't directly ask for help. He just looks at Agatha with these doleful eyes.

She grins and holds up eight fingers then mimes spooning foam from a tin. He nods.

She's glowing when she gets home. She even gives Lucy a treat.

* * *

 

Lucy is everything to Agatha. It's the only thing she's brought with her into this new world, and it's the only thing she really needs.

She thought it'd be harder to make new friends given her previously epic lifestyle, but it's not that bad. Lots of it is easily translatable to Normals. Apparently young men putting beautiful women on pedestals is a regular occurrence.

It's such a relief to laugh with her girls over how stupid boys are. The first time she laughs with them she cries, and it's the first time she feels absolutely confident in her decision to run.

But sometimes Agatha does feel lonely, because despite everything, there are parts of her life that she can never share with these people. Which does make her sad because these are the things that indiscriminately tortured her. She'd rather forget about these things, that doesn't mean she can  _actually_ forget them. It just means she wants to. But we don't always get what we want.

So Lucy gets to hear it all. How the Mage tried to kill her, how her ex-boyfriend was so much of an egomaniac that he thought everyone was plotting to kill him, about how Penny looked down on her for wanting to leave the magickal world behind.

Lucy's a good friend. She knows when Agatha needs to cuddle, or when maybe some playtime might lift her spirits. It's one of the things that keeps her alive between shifts at work.

Agatha can't hate the Magickal world like she wants to because the Magickal world gave her Lucy.

* * *

 

Penny texts Agatha constantly, and it's very rare that Agatha responds. She would prefer it if people just forgot about her, especially Penny. But alas — Penny is a dreamer and thinks that maybe if she texts Agatha what is quickly turning into a very rambly diary, maybe Agatha will return to the Magickal World.

Aside from the police contacting her about the Mage investigation — and Agatha is very grateful that they let her testify via writing — the only other person from her former life to reach out is Baz.

* * *

 

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch [10:34]  
wellbelove I just want you to know that since me and snow are good, i have made a vow to pursue you as my new nemesis

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch [10:58]  
what say you agatha? I'm sure you're quite frightened

Agatha rolls her eyes, thumbs arched tensely over the tap screen. Her face screws up in concentration and she decides to once and for all…

…

...change Baz's name to  _Baz_  on her phone. She doesn't know what she was thinking typing all that in.

It's like two months later when Baz texts her again.

Baz [1:21]  
too soon?

Baz [5:47]  
i know you're mad at us for a reason but none of us are mad at you. simon misses you btw. he told me last night.

_That_  finally gets a rise out of her. Simon told him last night? What? No way their truce has gone on for this long…

Agatha [5:49]  
what do you mean simon told you last night? i thought your dumb truce was over. you found out that it was the mage like killed your mum right?

Baz [5:49]  
oh

Baz [5:49]  
fuck

Baz [5:51]  
one second

Agatha waits with bated breath. Lucy whines because she wants to play, but Agatha needs to see that text back so she can properly focus.

Baz [5:58]  
i h8 to be the bearer of bad news

Baz [6:00]  
but snow and i are porking each other

* * *

 

Simon Snow and Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch are porking each other. Amazing. Simply amazing.

How did she miss that?

Simon Snow and Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch are — she bets they first  _porked_ on Christmas. That's why Simon was at Baz's before Penelope and her arrived!  _And_  that explains why Simon was so weird about being called out on arriving so early (and sweatily apparently)!  _And_!  _And_ that's why Simon jumped out of the bloody car to go back to Baz!

Was Christmas when it started, or was it earlier? They  _were_  roommates after all.

Hmph.

Good for them really. She hates her friends but that doesn't mean she doesn't want them to be happy.

* * *

 

Agatha starts talking to her Magickal friends again after that. She spends the whole day at work thinking about what she wants to text Penny. But when she finally sits down, her ramen rapidly softening in boiling water, she finds herself wanting to text Simon.

Text Simon —  _what_?

An essay on how an arse he was to her? How much emotional labor he accosted unto her? Ugh. See, despite everything Agatha really does hope he's okay — she misses him? There's at least ten paragraphs to that sentiment. It's more than what even Penny would write. Embarrassing. Though she wishes it wouldn't be unusual for her to be as expressive as Penny…

The timer goes off and it's ramen time. She doesn't want to think about this anymore so she compulsively texts Simon a picture of Lucy.  _Just_  Lucy. Not Lucy doing anything special, just her normal tail wag, bright eyes, lolling tongue, and dopey smile.

While she mixes the shrimp powder into her food, there's a  _Ding!_  from her phone. Bowl still in hand, she leans over the kitchen table and peers down. It's from Simon and —

— Crowley, that's a long fucking message.

_Thirteen_  paragraphs in fact. Agatha tries to read it but the words just blend together into a gigantic mish mosh of the exact feeling that is currently reaching into her chest and squeezing the life out of her heart.

Her hands shake when she types out the message.

Agatha [8:19]  
how did u write so much so fast

Simon [8:20]  
i wrote it like a month ago. did sum copypasta haha

Agatha [8:24]  
did Penny put u up to this

Simon [8:25]  
no prof bunce did

Agatha wants to stop this nonsense but apparently Simon's typing. It takes an absurdly long time to the point where she actually walks away for a bit.

Simon [8:28]  
she marked it all up in red pen

Simon [8:28]  
told u she didnt like me

* * *

 

Agatha blocks Simon Snow, and because she's feeling frivolous she blocks Penelope Bunce while she's at it.

It feels like a release of — something.

She keeps going to work at the coffee shop, even applies for university. Undeclared though, she wishes she had a passion. By now, the pile of checks from her mother are more than enough to cover a full education anywhere she wants in the world, so she takes a lighter to them.

Over her dead body.

* * *

 

Baz texts her a few weeks after Simon Snow sent Agatha his freaking thesis paper. (Like actually though.)

She wishes she left his longass name as is;  _Baz_  is just so inviting and hard to look away from.

Baz [10:30]  
did u block bunce and snow?

Baz [10:33]  
haha! u did! i can see it!

Attached is a screen capture of  _Seen by Agatha Wellbelove [10:31]._

Motherfucker.

Agatha [10:35]  
leave me alone or ur next

Baz [10:36]  
oh no plz don't

Baz [10:37]  
nemeses dont block each other its poor sportsmanship

Baz [10:39]  
unblock penny she needs to talk to u about ur dog

* * *

 

"You did  _what_  to my dog?!"

Penelope Bunce actually thought that she could get away with texting Agatha the horrible truth about Lucy and fuck  _no_. Agatha deserves a real explanation told to her by a real person, so she calls her.

She storms back and forth through her very small kitchen, ensnaring the same energy of Simon whenever he was plotting against Baz.

The conversation is exhausting, almost more exhausting than what happened with The Mage. Probably because she tries to forget about The Mage, but this is a moment between her and her best friend that she knows will be forever burned into her mind until she dies.

Penelope Bunce possessed a dog that  _belonged_  to someone else, and actually  _stole_  them away. She didn't even  _think_ about returning Lucy, she didn't even  _remember_  until she saw the picture of the dog.

Unbelievable.

How could her friends be so selfish? If it were Simon, she wouldn't be surprised. But it's Penny. And all at once, things start to check out. This is Penny who didn't even know Agatha had a dog. Penny who invited her over on Christmas. Penny who probably hasn't even forgiven Agatha for running away that day. Of fucking course it was  _Penny_.

Penny is supposed to be better than this, and now for whatever reason, they're not even talking about Lucy. They're talking — erm, shouting — about ethics. Lucy actually gets scared and hides under the couch.

When Lucy whines, Agatha's heart breaks and she puts the conversation on hold, actually hanging up to pick her best friend up and make them feel better. After a treat, Agatha calls Penny back and her voice is cold now. She hates it, she hates feeling this way.

Why does everything have to be so hard with these people? Why did she even call back when she knows they do this to her?

They don't even resume talking about the dog. They just spend time catching up and it's actually kinda nice. Agatha doesn't know why she's allowing this. Lucy doesn't come up again until Agatha swears very loudly out of frustration.

She forgot she finally burned all of her mother's checks a week ago. When Penny asks her if Agatha's worried about rent, Agatha nearly screams and shouts for a straight minute.

It takes most of that minute to get to the actual point: she doesn't have enough money to fly back home.

Penny asks why Agatha's coming home all of a sudden.

Agatha tells Penny she's going to find Lucy's owner and return them.

Penny suggests that maybe Agatha should cool down first.

Agatha's lost all of her energy. She slumps back in her plastic chair and tells Penny: "Okay."

* * *

 

Lucy doesn't get to play with other dogs anymore. She used to go to dog parks with Agatha all the time, but no more. Because Agatha can't handle looking at happy owners with their pets. Pets that weren't  _possessed by selfish 'friends' and kidnapped._

Agatha can't handle anything right now. Her life is a ticking time bomb. The closer she gets to Lucy, the harder it will be to eventually let go, but of course that makes Lucy sad so Agatha has to love them back even harder. Anything else would be immoral, and doing immoral things is what Penny, Simon, and Baz do.

All that Agatha can do is talk to her manager and ask to go full-time for a few weeks so she can earn the money to fly home and back. She hates it. Because forty hours a week keeps her away from her friends and Lucy, and she can't not think about the only reason she's working at these bizarre hours she's never done before is because of Penny.

But Agatha has to return Lucy. Without magic to boot. She's not giving in.

* * *

 

It takes her months to save up to fly back home with Lucy in tow.

The old gang knows she's coming, though they don't talk too much to her about it. Mostly basic things. Like what airport, where are you staying, when do you fly in, when do you fly out, do you want help, stuff like that.

Most of this is discussed through Penny. Agatha would rather talk to Baz, but his snark is so mind numbingly off-topic and misplaced that any dialog with him is certain to be unproductive.

So color Agatha surprised when she gets to the airport and finds Simon Snow of all people waiting for her with a big sign that says AGATHA on it. As if Simon needs it for identification.

* * *

 

Agatha has no idea how to handle this sort of interaction, so she leads with a handshake.

Simon apparently has no idea how to handle this either because he goes for a hug.

A bad hug at that. Weird how he takes the handshake while hugging her. It's very weird, but that's Simon for ya.

"I thought Penny was picking me up," Agatha mutters.

"Huh?" Simon pulls back, running a hand through his curly hair. He looks good with longer hair like this. "Oh. Um. Penny and Baz are busy plotting."

Agatha raises an eyebrow. "Plotting what? How to piss me off?"

Simon frowns and looks around at the various families meeting up at baggage claim. Their reunions seem to be going a lot better. "No, like, Magickal drama stuff. S'okay. We got this. This is Lucy then?"

Simon crouches down and holds his hand out for the little pooch to lick. Much to Agatha's chagrin, Lucy gives Simon a lot of kisses. If only Lucy knew who this jerk was. "No. It's some stranger's dog I accidentally kidnapped."

Simon pales. "Right. Okay. So — what's the plan then?"

Agatha's brow arcs very high, twitches even. "I figured you'd come up with something. You know what the owner looks like, right?"

"Nah. I was busy flying through the sky when that happened."

Agatha's brows knit a little crease above her nose that actually might crack her forehead open. "The fuck?"

"It's complicated. Um. We'll figure it out?" Simon shrugs.

Agatha still hasn't moved since the wretched hug. "Maybe we should call Penny and Baz. I'm sure they came up with something."

Simon scratches the back of his head. "Nah. Too busy plottin'."

* * *

 

Agatha's plan is simple, yet it gets fucked because Simon is a big dunderhead:

She knocks on doors nearest to the Numpties, and Simon hangs out at the library to make a flier that they can post around town.

But after six blocks of knocking, Agatha gets a call from Simon who actually has no idea how to use Photoshop.

She should have figured he wouldn't know, but Photoshop is so intuitive! How does he not get this?

So they spend the afternoon making idle chit-chat in hush hush whispers while Simon learns the skills that any YouTube tutorialist could teach you.

* * *

 

The second day they go back to door knocking. Agatha would prefer it if they could split up and cover more ground, but the conversations don't really work unless Lucy's at their side. So they stick together and swap off whenever one of them gets tired.

It goes very poorly. No one seems to recognize the poor thing, or if they do, they give them leads that don't really pan out.

It's lunchtime when Simon starts getting all weird. He runs off to the bathroom and comes back with this ginormous musty trench-coat covering his slim shoulders. The two of them are sort of getting to a point now where they can laugh about things again, so Agatha points a ketchup-laden fry at him, joking about how he looks like a crook in that get-up.

Simon gets all red in the face. It's kinda refreshing. Y'know, being around Simon when he's not the center of absolutely everything. He's very…. normal. Or maybe Normal? She's not sure if it's his attitude or the fact that he hasn't used any spells since she arrived.

She does get short with him when they leave. Because seriously what is he thinking wearing that? They can't knock on doors when he looks like he's about to sell someone snake oil. She stares him down until he flinches, and he  _does_  flinch. Many times. It's like the seventh flinch when he leads her into a public restroom. A gender neutral one specifically.

"What? Are you non-binary now?" Agatha blurts out, a little embarrassed. "Did I use the wrong pronouns?"

"Huh? No, I — I want you to go into the bathroom with me."

"... Oh."

* * *

 

The trench-coat brushes her thin arms when it slips off. As nasty as the thing is, she doesn't want to let it fall to the probably more disturbed floor, so she neatly folds it together into her arms. So she's distracted and doesn't notice when the frighteningly large crimson wings fold out from Simon's back. Simon has to tell her to look up and when she does, her back slams the stall door and she drops the coat anyways.

"I know," Simon mutters, a cartoon Devil tail popping out between his legs.

Agatha shouldn't laugh but she positively loses it anyways. At first Simon gets cross and tries to convince her that it's not like this is actually the most ridiculous and silly thing that ever could have happened to Simon. Her laughs quiets down to a simper, but  _that tail!_ It's like someone from the 1940s drew it for him! She laughs until she cries and ends up falling onto Simon, finally hugging him back since he fucked up embracing her earlier.

Agatha is so loud it's impossible to hear Simon, but from the rocking of his shoulders and the tears in his eyes, she can tell he's with her on this. Like seriously.

What the fuck?!

* * *

 

"I was wondering if you could Magic these out of sight for me," Simon twiddles his fingers, looking up at her with hopeful eyes. "The spell only lasts so long."

She shakes her head. "I don't do magic anymore, Simon. Besides, I don't know any spells that can help you here."

Simon's mouth folds in from gritted teeth. "It's  _ **These are not the droids you're looking for!**_ "

Agatha blinks. "Well then why don't you just do it?"

"I — I can't." Simon sounds so parched.

"Why?" Agatha feels like she might as well just leave her eyebrow up considering how often she has to raise it around him. "You're not  _that_  bad at magic, Simon."

"You don't understand, Agatha," Simon bows his head. "I'm Normal now."

A tumblewood could have blown through. It takes her far too long to collect herself. "What?"

"Yeah," he shrugs. "I gave my magic to the Humdrum. That's how we beat him."

"How — " Again, Agatha —  _eyebrow_. Just keep it raised. " — why — why did you do that? The Humdrum is — is — "

" — a hole.  _Was_  a hole," Simon looks like he wants to say a lot more, but maybe he's just holding back because he knows this is a touchy subject with her. She appreciates that about Simon; he can censor himself during the intimate stuff. "And you know what holes want, right?"

Agatha thinks about that. Is that a metaphor? Fuck it. She just wants to get this conversation over with.

"To get bigger I guess?"

Simon smirks like Penny does when she knows something you don't. "They want to get filled. So I filled it."

* * *

 

Simon Snow is Normal.

Agatha is Normal-passing.

* * *

 

Agatha is too stunned to speak, so Simon takes care of the rest of the doors for the day.

He does really well for a weirdo in a trench-coat, honestly. Or maybe it's because it makes him look like a charity case.

It gets dark eventually and they walk down the streets in mostly silence. Though at some point, Agatha has to ask him. "Do you miss Magic?"

He opens his mouth to say what she expects to be  _"Yeah"_  but he actually stops and processes it for a second. It's probably easier for him to think now that's he not always going off. He turns back to her and grins. "Here and there, but honestly? It's — it's nice to not have so much responsibility. Erm. That's not a — a dig at you, or anything."

It's still a dig. She wishes it weren't, but with so much turmoil in the community?

It does feel sort of bad to keep running.

* * *

 

"So you were the Insidious Humdrum?" Agatha asks from the bed of her Airbnb.

Simon hoists one strap of his backpack over his shoulders, checking his phone for when the next bus is coming. "Yeah. The uh — Mage did this fucked ritual and it like made me suck up people's magic."

Agatha furrows her brow. Something about Simon leaving to go see  _his_  friends,  _her_ friends that she should be able to just confront, makes her sad. "How'd you figure that?"

"Uh…" Simon pockets his phone. "Penny and Baz figured it out so I just went along."

"Gotcha," Agatha leans against the headboard. "And… the scary wings?"

"Oh," Simon frowns a little. "I was just kind of in a pissy mood last time I went off."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

Lucy hops onto the bed and bows her head under Agatha's hand. Agatha scratches the li'l pooch behind the ears, eyes focused on the lolling tongue. "Do you want to stay with me, Simon?"

"Oh, um, I don't want to intrude," he says in a hurry.

"It's a long bus ride. Just stay. It's okay."

His frown sinks deeper into his jaw. It looks awfully painful. "Agatha, seriously, it's cool. It's the least I can do — "

"Simon. I want to be friends again."

Finally the bonehead's frown falters and he grins back, softly settling himself against the comforter. He holds out his hand and Lucy immediately plows him over, little feet padding along his chest.

* * *

 

"Fuck," Simon groans when he gets out of the bed.

Agatha slowly rises alongside him. "What's wrong, Simon?" she rubs her eyes.

Simon groans again, and his wings suddenly slap up, comically tenting the comforter above their heads. Somehow, Agatha keeps forgetting about the bloody wings, although it just now makes sense as to why the bed sheets felt so scaley. "I was supposed to go back home so Penny could cast the stupid spell on these. Fuck! Um. Agatha. I know you don't like magic but could you — um — "

"No," she sighs. "I didn't even bring my wand with me."

"Well that's a little reckless, isn't it?" he chuckles, and before Agatha can yell at him about that he continues with a smirk, "Considering all the bullshit I get into."

She rolls her eyes, less so at Simon and more at herself. Because Simon does get himself into a lot of bullshit and she doesn't really seem to mind.

"What's the spell again?" she asks.

Simon slowly waves one hand through the air. " _ **These are not the droids you're looking for.**_ "

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Uh…" he itches the back of his neck. "It's a  _Star Wars_  reference."

"Like the new one?"

"No, no, the old one. Um," he picks up the TV remote. "If we watch the movie, will you promise to do the spell on me?"

She doesn't really feel like getting up quite yet, so she gently twists the comforter off the points of Simon's wings, and tries to look aloof. "Okay."

* * *

 

" _ **These are not the droids you're looking for,**_ " Ben Kenobi says to the Stormtrooper.

"These are not the droids we're looking for," the Stormtrooper agrees.

Agatha laughs because that's pretty funny, Simon just gets excited because maybe just maybe it will be enough for Agatha to magic his stupid wings out of sight. But she doesn't mention his wings after the scene ends so they wait until the end of the movie to give it a go.

First, Agatha is too distracted thinking about the movie to do the spell properly.

" _Simon, why is the Death Star so easily destroyable? It doesn't make any sense!" Agatha scratches her head._

" _I dunno," he shrugs. "It's camp I guess. You're just supposed to give yourself over to it."_

" _But it's so silly!"_

" _Well if you must know, there's a movie all about why the Death Star is so easy to blow up," Simon says with some impatience. "It's called Rogue One, but I think it's too serious for something so campy."_

" _Oh!" Agatha almost wishes they watched that instead. She doesn't like silly movies. "That sounds really cool!"_

" _Well," Simon coughs. "I think it's dumb."_

Second, Agatha can't do the spell because she just doesn't want to.

" _I don't want to be mean, Simon, considering your position but…"_

" _You don't like Magic, I know."_

" _Yeah. I don't think I can do any Magic if I don't like it."_

_Simon's eyebrows raise up high. She's not sure why this surprises him so much. "B-but, it's Magic! Agatha. I get that you don't — um — like adventure and stuff but…"_

" _Simon," she says carefully; she doesn't want to hurt him. "I'm — I'm happy now."_

Third, Agatha can't do the spell because Simon puts all of his money on ol' Ben Kenobi.

He plays the scene over and over and over again. Every time Ben waves his hand, slowly chanting, " _ **These are not the droids you are looking for,**_ " Simon swings his arms out like Kate Winslet in  _Titantic_. When that doesn't work, he says it's because they're using the Special Edition, so he scours the internet to find the original scene and tries that.

Agatha doesn't really notice the difference between the versions, although — there is a change in what happens.

Old Ben waves his hand for like the twentieth time that morning (" _ **These are not the droids you are looking for!**_ ") and the open air eats away at Simon's wings, bit by bit until they are completely out of sight. Simon whoops out of sheer delight and hops up and down like he just discovered the cure to cancer. Agatha thinks Simon looks like a total twerp doing that but she joins in nevertheless. It's been so long since she's ever celebrated anything Magickal.

"I'm gonna write a fuckin' Life Hack piece about this!" Simon cheers between ragged breaths.

* * *

 

"I wouldn't get too far ahead of yourself, Snow," a cold voice announces from the other side of the door. Simon immediately tenses, face draining of color.

The door swings open and Baz steps into the room, hands sunk deep into navy pockets, a pastel shirt buttoned just up the breast. It's then that Agatha wonders how she ever thought Baz was anything but gay. Maybe that's stereotyping, Penny would call her out on that. Agatha tries again and wonders how Baz was anyone but someone who wanted to pork Simon.

Baz runs a hand through his wavy black locks and grins. "Did you really think Alec Guinness was a Mage?"

Simon frowns. "But — but — he —  _Alec Guinness was knighted!_ " his voice peeks very high. "He — he moves stuff around with his mind! He teaches Luke about the force!"

Baz rolls his eyes. "Snow. Alec Guiness and Mark Hamill had special effect mages employed to make them look cool. Obviously."

Agatha stands up, fists at her sides. Once again, Baz and Simon think the whole world revolves around stupid magic spells. "You two realize that there are people whose craft is making things look cool with computer graphics, right?"

Baz and Simon  _finally_  break eye contact and notice her. "Wait what?" they say together.

* * *

 

It's over breakfast that Agatha realizes she actually has no quarrel with Baz, nor she does have one with Simon anymore. It's just Penny — maybe Agatha should text Penny. She really doesn't like this conflict.

"Penny  _is_  coming," Baz says as if he can read Agatha's mind. "She um — there's this new spell she's trying to figure out."

Ugh. Classic. Agatha pretends to be interested for the sake of saving face. "Oh?"

"Yeah," Baz says softly. "It's uh —  _ **There and back again!**_  — it likes shows you visuals of your old memories. I'm guessing she's going to make a sketch of the dog owner."

"You guess?" Agatha doesn't mean to sound so icy. "Sorry, I just — "

"It's fine," Baz cuts her off. "Really. We both regret it. It's better to not talk about it and just do the right thing."

* * *

 

They get a stack of  _Wanted_  posters for the dog owner. He looks rather — plain. But it's doable. Baz and Simon each take a third of the pile and gear up to ship out and find this wronged man when Agatha has a better idea.

She hesitates though. She gets the idea early and it's not until the boys are halfway out the door that she finds the courage to speak up. She already knows they'll shoot her down, but she goes for it anyways.

"There's a way to download images into Google that will help you source the picture," Agatha explains very quickly (might as well get the rejection over with). "What Penny sent us is really accurate, I think that it's possible we could maybe find something online. I know it's weird but — "

"Super weird," Baz shakes his head.

Of course.

She immediately gives up and scoops up her stack when —

"Baz, putting  _Wanted_  posters up for a guy who lost his dog is  _weird_ ," Simon points out. "I want to give Agatha's plan a go."

Agatha's heart skips a beat.

* * *

 

The dog owner has far too many matches on Google for it to really mean anything, and Baz was apparently too distracted by the talking dog back in that moment to really help in distinguishing between the pasty white faces. Agatha kinda wants to go off on him about it, but well — the talking dog point is probably fair.

Don't get her wrong though, she absolutely resents the fact that a distracting talking dog is making this more frustrating than it needs to be. Like, it would be so much easier to just say that Baz doesn't care about Normal people problems, but no — talking dog. That's real.

Ugh.

* * *

 

It's cold.  Ungodly cold. What was once slush thickens to ice overnight, and snow pools to their ankles. Yet Simon Snow wears a t-shirt and light jacket, battered jeans definitely busted open, hairy legs occasionally drifting into sight. He tries to play it cool and pretend that the cold's not bothering him, but the way he keeps slipping under Baz's arm is so telling.

Baz on the other hand wears a pea coat. Though Agatha's never seen him in this black number, he looks so comfortable in it. Effortless. Baz makes everything look effortless. It makes her jealous. Because she's born from money just like him, but she still hasn't figured out how to use the wealth and not present herself as overtly posh.

Her puffy pink jacket with the big furry hood makes her feel comfortable, though the way it matches Lucy is embarrassing. She didn't even process that she bought the same wintertime get-up for her dog until Baz mocks her for it.

But the pink sweater and little booties! How was she supposed to know that they looked tacky when paired with her own ensemble?

It's not fair.

Lucy finds the right house for them while they try to make heads or tails of their map, and starts  _yipping!_  as Agatha leads her down the driveway. But the moment the door swings open and a really cute girl still in her bathrobe comes out, Lucy whines so much Agatha actually has to stoop down to pet the poor thing.

There, there, Lucy. We'll find him soon…

Simon and Baz end up tabling the discussion for Agatha, which is sweet of them. They ask the necessary questions, like  _do you recognize this dog?_  and  _do you at least know where the former home owner moved?_  Although they are quite bad at it. It's almost like all their crazy adventures have made them completely lose touch reality.

Like would it kill Baz to not drawl when he interrogates these people? He's not in a movie where he constantly needs to impress, you know? He looks down his nose at Normals like they're ants.

The Normals don't know Baz, so they don't catch the condescension, but Agatha knows him too well.

Apparently Simon knows Agatha well, because he catches her shoulder when her lip curls past the cheek, teeth biting over what might be very mean words. Simon looks at her meaningfully, completely unwavering.

"Can we talk?" Agatha asks, quickly embarrassed by how strained her voice slips out.

Simon doesn't respond, just drags her off, handing Lucy's leash off to Baz who merely shrugs in return.

* * *

 

"Where were you when we were at Watford?"

Simon raises an eyebrow, like he didn't expect that. He coughs, slumping back. "I thought you were going to ask about Baz. He's just been going through a lot and — "

"Simon, I'm not asking about Baz," Agatha tries not to growl, but it still comes out ferocious. She hates it. She hates her anger. "I'm asking about  _you_."

Simon nods very faintly, pink cheeks shifting when he breathes a blue puff into the air. His eyes shimmer. "I was going through a lot too. I know I was a shitty boyfriend but — "

"You were," Agatha says so bluntly it almost hurts her own feelings, yet she doesn't… feel bad about it? Such contradiction. "You're so nice to me now. I don't understand, Simon."

Simon looks like he desperately wants to rush the few yards over to hold her, but he stays perfectly still. Agatha's scared he's going to run away again. Just like her. They were both always running.

"Do you feel sorry for me? Is that it?" she spits. "I'm  _happy_  Simon, I'm — "

"I'm trying to make up for lost time," Simon says like a well-rehearsed actor who still blanches looking out to the dark audience. "Especially since you're leaving."

Simon's hoodie shifts. Probably the wings. He's getting restless. If she doesn't move, he's going to run and grab her. It'd be nice. To be held that is.

She grabs him first though. Buries her head into his shoulder and sobs; he does too so it's not embarrassing.

It hurts to cry when it's this cold. Though Simon's invisible wings do wrap around her like a shelter, and it does help tremendously.

"I love you," she whispers and that hurts too because she's never said it to him before. Never even so much as  _felt it_  before. "Can we please be friends again?"

"Of course," Simon chokes, tail lashing back and forth, cleaving thin lines into the glistening snow.

"Oy!" a cold voice hollers from far off.

The former couple turns and sees Baz calmly standing with a piece of paper no bigger than a fortune cookie's tag waving in the air. "You know what's amazing?" he sneers with suave and swagger. "Simon and me took  _ages_ to get along, but I actually think I was waiting longer for  _this_  to happen."

* * *

 

Agatha feels sad. Lucy, wonderful little bundle of joy, soft sack of warmth, always so happy and delightful, is going home…

Agatha has friends again. They'll stand besides her when she hands the leash over to Lucy's former owner. But they won't get past security at the airport. She'll ride the conveyor belt away from them and maybe manage a few waves, but that's it.

She's about to lose everything all over again.

But none of this was supposed to happen, nothing was ever supposed to happen. Agatha just has to reckon with that. Her fingers run in the little divots besides Lucy's floppy ears. She's kind of thankful that Simon and Baz let her have the backseat to herself.

They park a few blocks away from the house. One last walk for Lucy.

When she does step outside of the car, she cries. But not because of Lucy, or anything that was on her mind really.

She cries because Penny's back, and her cheeks shine under the harsh daylight.

For someone so chatty and knowledgeable and inventive, Agatha figured that her eventual reconciliation with Penny would be more loaded but it's actually really straightforward.

Well sort of.

Kissing someone you thought you hated isn't very straightforward — Simon and Baz would know more probably. Though Agatha doesn't think about fucking Simon Snow and Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch while snogging with her friend. Penny's taste is too full for that — like a really strong chocolate peppermint.

Their foreheads touch and Agatha feels warmer than ever.

Everything about these people make her feel warm though. Penny makes her  _hot_ , like kinda agitated from so much raw emotion that she's positive is supposed to flood to her limbs and make her  _move_  but she finds herself so still. "P-Penny?"

"Sorry. I'm really confused," Penny runs her hands down Agatha's limp arms until they catch her ghostly pale hands, and squeeze them tight. "I'm not good at these sort of things. I just want you to be happy after how bad I hurt you."

Agatha smiles and she recognizes it's the same dopey grin Simon makes when Baz gets the upper hand on him. Fuckity fuck, why?!

Lucy yips at the two of them. Definitely a _come on, let's get going._ Very perceptive.

Though Agatha does notice that Penny won't look at Lucy. Two minutes ago, that would make Agatha feel very sure of herself. But now it just makes her feel empty. So she grabs Penny's hand and — well — it's a few more minutes before Lucy yips loud enough to get them going.

* * *

 

Meeting the owner of the dog is like a fever dream.

Like they just sort of talk, but it's just words. Agatha feels stupid not saying anything, Penny actually takes the lead on it and she's happy that they took the five minutes to sort things out before this — they're still holding hands and it's enough to tell Agatha that Penny is doing this out of love not from haughtiness.

Turns out Lucy's owner moved on. Though his eyes twinkle at the sight of his dog, he gestures to two other dogs in his cramped studio apartment. Rescues apparently. Landlord won't let him take any more in. He actually starts crying and the conversation ends with him slamming the door in their faces.

But Agatha can hear him falling against something and a sharp pain shoots from her lungs to her chest to her throat and — Penny tightens her grip on Agatha's hand, whispers to her, saying that they should probably give the man some space.

* * *

 

Lucy is quiet for some time after that.

Tail swishes through snowflakes, mouth closed tight, eyes fixed on Lucy, front legs propped high up and folded to her chest.

Agatha is sure that Penny has no idea what's going on, because she's not the best at reading people, but she still waits it out on the curb,  _still_ holding Agatha's hand. Gently now, the sweat building between palms is actually becoming very undesirable despite how beautiful this connection is.

The point has already been made after all; they're back on good terms. Slash maybe even better terms. Probably. They  _did_  kiss.

It's strange for Penny to be so quiet, and likewise for Agatha, it's strange to have so many words commanding to roll off her tongue. It's like a role reversal. But Agatha doesn't say anything because she likes this quiet a lot and doesn't want to screw it up.

Eventually, Lucy falls back to their usual height and hobbles over to Agatha's lap, pattering up her folded legs, resting a head to the knee.

"Do you want to pet her?" Agatha asks so softly it can be hardly heard.

Penny nods and runs a hand over the dog's head. "I'm going to really miss you, Agatha. I'm sorry that I blew you off so long and — "

"It's okay, we have the future now."

Agatha doesn't know why she's so calm. How is that possible? She's on the precipice of love with Penelope Bunce! Like what the fuck? Talk about an unexpected journey. "We'll make it work, you know. You won't miss me."

Penny's eyes shine, and again, this is just so unlike Penny. "Why's that?"

Agatha smiles again and she remembers why this is all possible: she's  _happy_.

"Because when I leave this time, I won't be running away."


End file.
